Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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