with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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