i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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