i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
