the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You've changed since you got that strap on
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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