chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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