i barfeds in our rink
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
