White coat. Heels.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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