I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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