Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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