There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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