Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i will never coherently bang her
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
