I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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