I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
