I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
