Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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