i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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