worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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