This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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