I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
