he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
