So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
