that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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