onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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