You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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