I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
