what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
