Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize