And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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