get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize