This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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