I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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