I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize