not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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