He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
