Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
