Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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