I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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