I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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