So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
