i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
honey bunches of taint.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
