You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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