Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
