we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
