mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
