If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
