but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
