Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
