I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
