just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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