I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
