On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
