Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize