so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
