i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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