if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
