he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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