Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize