Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
They took my balls.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
