She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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