And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
