hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
