i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
