I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
