I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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