Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
