I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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