I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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