You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
