Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
