sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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